A Quick Realization About Lifestyle and Identity

A 2-minute and 8-second read (based on my reading speed—feel free to disagree).

The Moment It Hit Me

There I was in my kitchen, baking a Basque cheesecake, brewing coffee, and admiring the cute little bowls and decor on my counter. For a second, I felt… cool. Like I was living one of those picture-perfect magazine lives.

Then it struck me:

What was I really doing?

Suddenly, I realized I was living a life that didn’t truly feel like mine. I’d wrapped my identity—my sense of worth—around having that Instagram-ready aesthetic.

Nice Things Aren’t the Problem

Don’t get me wrong: there’s nothing bad about wanting a beautiful, cozy home. In fact, it’s wonderful to create a space that makes you happy.

• Your parents did it—they shaped their home their way.
• Now, as an adult, you get to do the same. And that’s awesome. 👍

The “Trader Joe’s Café Lifestyle”

(That’s what I’m calling it for this article.)

Growing up, my parents adored that magazine-perfect life. They loved:

• Decorating rooms with unique touches
• Visiting charming Sonoma coffee shops for frothy lattes
• Staying in pretty Sausalito hostels
• Stocking up on Trader Joe’s specialty snacks
• Exploring iris farms and antique shops in Folsom

This was before Instagram turned lifestyles into content. No judgment—they enjoyed it, and it was their choice.

But I have to judge myself a little. Because without realizing it, I let that lifestyle become my identity.

The Real Issue

It wasn’t the things themselves—they’re not bad! The problem was tying my self-worth to them.

When your identity revolves around having the perfect moisturizers, furniture, or handmade rugs… you lose yourself.

Remember: You’re so much more than the “pretty things” around you. Your worth runs deeper than that.

The Big Question

Ask yourself:

“Beyond all this noise, what do I truly want my life to be about?”

Because in 5 years, you won’t want to look back and see a life defined by products and aesthetics. Those are just background notes in your life’s song.

Turn up the volume on what really matters. What have you been holding yourself back from? What’s the chorus you need to sing louder?